Time’s only a concept, after all…

Nothing much is happening here. I’ve been behaving impeccably, as always; Marmers has been ‘stremely annoyin’, as usual, and there was some quite bizarre behaviour among the humans on the cusp of the New Year. The latter has been documented elsewhere, and I don’t feel it’s my purrlace to publish embarrassing photos when fpu has already done it.

Here I demonstrate my uncanny ability to sense the purrescence of photographic equipment…

I did have fun!

But, yesterday, on the first of January Twenty-twelve, Marmers really got up my dainty pink nose.

I am still incandescent with rrrrrrrrrrage: the lovely hanging bed that fu got me last year in a stack-em-high-sell-em-cheap supermarket that has been Only Mine ever since, MY furry radiator bed…he USURPED it, INVADED it, bleedin’ NICKED it.

And then had the cheek to pose POSE for a photograph.

The furry BASTARD!

His coup was brief. Fpu removed him to a chair, some hours later, and re-instated me to my Rightful Purrlace.

But, Dear Reader, I suffered.

In the kitchen there’s this Thing, big and white, with a round door like  a hobbit hole; ever so inviting, full of the fpu’s claes and just the right size for a kitty to kurl up in.

So I did. Or at least, I did try to, but no sooner had I popped in, that the blasted Paparazza was there in force, camera in hand, making silly propitiatory noises like, “Ooooo who’s a cute kitty then. What a ickle-wickle cuddlekins it is,” and other utterances too nauseating to repeat.

However, the one exhortation which galvanised me into action was, “Don’t move. Stay right there.”

Naturally I immediately exited said Hobbit Hole with alacrity, leading to the following dog’s abuse, “I said…$*%T!!! You goddam fecking hairy basturt you!!!”

Mee-hee-hee-oww:-)

It is insufferably cute in a black&white, dinky, feminine sort of way.

Marmers is acting like a very silly old cat: he mrrrrps, he meeps, he tries to prance along the fence and, in essence, he just looks bloody silly!

He is eleven human years old, stout in a Pooh-ish manner, with a decidedly floppy undercarriage and yet he persists in dancing, prancing and leering like a teencat. It’s DISGUSTIN’!!!

See for yourselves…

Well…I will tell you this, I never did see such brass neck! I was hardly under the gate before it was sneaking back into Rolling Ell.

No good will come of it, you mark my meaows.

So here we are, all cosied up on the sofa in CookieCutterCottage, having a bit of a snugfest…

…however, when the view is extended, you will see Flickery Thing, with a picture of what I believe is a ‘lead singer’ (whatever that is) singing a ‘song’ (HA!) called ‘The Fog On The Tyne’ on something called an Old Grey Whistle Test. And, incomprehensibly for someone in a tiny hot studio behind a lift shaft, wearing what I believe is called a ‘beanie’ hat – though what they called it in nineteen-canteen, guid kens…

…and here I am doing my Feel The Lerv Look and doing it rather well, though I say so as shouldn’t.

I never did learn if the purrson in the beanie passed the test…though there was one interesting line about kippers which got my vote.

Which is more than can be said for a few brats…

She has even put protective bits of ballast and old roof tile around some that might otherwise have been trampled by careless feet coming to look at her work.

The feet purrobably weren’t doing the looking, it was much more likely the persons attached to same… Clarifications&Corrections R Us.

This sunny box under the wooden walkway suffered least from the wind and the lobelia and nasturtiums went a bit mad. But in a nice way.

These plastic ‘window’ boxes, probably kindly donated, are too small to hold their water and were very badly hit by the storm, just after planting. A bit stunted, but hanging in there. Watered regularly by Coull Deas MBE, fisherman retd age 86. Some kid!

Fishermen’s Association Pittenweem fishbox with rampant nasturtiums. The lobelia, alyssum and pansies got a bit swamped, but the bumblebees, hoverflies and butterflies love nasturtiums and Empress of India trails everywhere in an artistic sort of way.

The fenders, nets, kist, basket, ballast and rope look in keeping, but possibly not the watering can and wheelbarrow!

Just to round things off, here’s a gratuitous photo of Reaper’s sail, hoisted at a recent event in Newburgh, taken from the companionway.

The greeny-bluey bits match his eyes in case you were wondering. He’s not mouldering…yet…

I try not to feel a leetle huffed at all this Marmers-related stuff, but it’s not easy, even for a cat of my Zen-like nature, and the only way to redress the balance is to hog various of the new situpons when he isn’t. As even a cat of his avoirdupois can’t cover all of them all of the time, this is not unachievable, but requires careful planning and frequent recces…

Marmers snoozes on Old Blue

new multicolour ninepatch seat cover

marmers is nowhere to be seen and anyway, am I bovvered? naw! ‘m havin’ a wash.

fpu’s nice new knee blankie (well, that’s what she thinks)

and again…lovely lovely colours, ain’t they? (and by the way, Jill says it’s a cat blankie, so that’s that)

feckin’ poseur! lookit the smarmy marmy look on it’s face! gurrrrr…

…where’s my matching runner, hey? ’tisn’t fair mutter gurrumble grrr…

There’s only so much cucumber one person can eat, without repeating herself *smirk* However, Marmers and I are nothing if not gentlemen, so we desist from comment.

When her-two-doors-up presented it, she commented thet fpu wouldn’t be able to get her hand round it – laughter ensued. Marmers and I are still awaiting enlightenment.

We are not amused…

Whilst I have had Jill’s Lovely Crochet Blankie since the very day we moved in to CookieCutterCottage, he has been Making Do with a non-colour-co-ordinated hand-me-down and feeling decidedly out of sorts as a result.

He likes to think he is a sensitive wee soul…

In a ridiculous piece of pandering to his pussly prejudices fpu decided to make a special seasidey-coloured grandma’s garden patchwork quiltlet…

This is it before it became covered in moulted Marmers-hair. A flimsy thing compared with my sturdy blankie, I’m sure.

For Frances – the huge mutant wedding quilt, which inexplicably became 8′ sq. and therefore covers not only bb1&Cub’s bed, but quite a bit of their bedroom floor also. I do hope they don’t mind me sharing it with such a small, select audience as this is!

That kickboard needs a wash. Tcha!

I am remedying this purrlous state of affairs forthwith! Time to redress the balance in favour of the handsomer one of us.

That’s me, just in case you felt like asking, “Who?” and risking a wallop around the chops in the purrocess…

There was a sunny day recently. No really, don’t laugh.

So I thought, why not have a quick wash and brush-up and give the Sun something to smile about.